i'm so sick of myself and also you//!..

i really dunno what happen to me, i want everything to be prefect and different from other..
but i can't//!
all those shit things i did are just the same..
how to be different? how can my stuff be unique as my title "unique didy's blog"
i'm not special at all..
i just a nobody copying others style..
i hate myself and i really felt lost ( T____T )"
who the hell am i, where is didy??
what the hell i'm doing here..
u know all those question pop up in my brain??
how can i live happily or normally with this kinds of disturbance
( O_______o )"
no one will understand how i feel..
all you know is just asking:
"how many A's can you get this time?"
"your jiejie got 3A's for her exam, so how many you think you can get??"
and all i know how to answer you is that:
"NO, NONE OF MY SUBJECT GETS AN A!!"
well actually is not true..
i got A's for few subject, but what's the point of telling him??
he'll just say "it's so easy for you to score an A nowadays.. during those days bla bla bla..."
excuse me, you have already mention during those days, so why you still wanna compare now and last time??..
what's the point??
IT'S A PAST, just let it go..
and 1 more thing, i don't care about the "A"
all i care is what i've learn ( ^_____^ )
so please just let me do what i want and what i can//..
everyone has their own limit..
i'm not smart as you and i need more time to cope with the things..
just don't be so pushie please or adding pressure on me, if you continue to do so i'm afraid i'll die soon..