once again, I DON'T MAKEUP

OMG, guys this is sensitive//!
NOT makeup..
i don't makeup, and who will makeup until like that in the house de??..
siao mehx..

no more being stupid girl.. "once is a mistake, twice is stupidity"

yesterday i called X..
thought of asking her whether she want to follow me to the saloon..
never thought of she will say yes >______<"
as normal lo, ask her when free and bla bla bla..
than she set a day which is today, tuesday.
okay.

waa, first time she answer me so fast and so good never ask for anything..
this only happen for few hours..
at night, i sms her ask her reach my school at 2.00p.m..
LoLx..
her she goes..
1) erm tomorrow i don't have transport to go there worhx..
2) huh?! 12.00p.m follow you go there do what wor.. (LoLx, ehh you like shopping de mahx go walk anywhere you want la)
3) err where can i shop or walk arhx?
4) CHEE CHEONG KAI mehx??! so hot.. (excuse me, no people ask you to wear a sweater to go and walk there)
5) can i go timesquare?, can you bring me there?..
6) huh?? i go there myself, than later come back myself?? (i asked her to go herself back i fetch)
okay until she say okay larhx..
than very fast the next message come..
7) erm, after class you come my house fetch me la..
what the fuck?? hello i'm your friend not your "chauffeur", if you "beh song" you can say "SORRY I DON'T WANT TO GO" no big deal..
never mind continue..
8) why not you treat me eat KFC? now lunch set cheap only.. (狮子开大口)
excuse me once again, i didn't say that you must 100% follow me de okay, you are the one who wanna follow, without force de..
now you asking me to treat you eat KFC?? you thought i'm like you "boyfriend" so rich??.. everyday treat you??!
9) you no money?? i no more working, pk jor.. (you pk got nothing regarding to me!, no one ask you don't save money)
10) you "QIN GAM XIU JIE" lai de ma, money auto go into your pocket..
wow wow wow, this girl really going to over..
just because i have money to spend so it means i'm "qin gam xiu jie"?
just because i have money to spend so it means my money come automatically?
just because i have money to spend so it means i take the money from my parent?
just because i have money to spend so it means i don't have to work?
what the fuck??! excuse me mind your words, the money you know how i save mehx?
why must you say i'm "QIN GAM XIU JIE"?
now i didn't go out work??
you see me always take money from my parents??
if my parents really give me money, it's that a problem??
my parents can't give me money to pay for my school expenses??
they can't give me money to go for my lunch break??
don't tell me your school fees you pay all by yourself!
if yes than that is 100% the most stupid answer i have ever hear..
actually, we have been friends for almost 14 years, did i ever show off in front of you??
just because i wear giodarno you wear pasar malam shirt than it means i'm "QIN GAM XIU JIE"?
just because i wear something or i have something which is more expensive than you by RM20 so i'm "QIN GAM XIU JIE"?
i really want to know..

___________________________

erm, about you say you wanna work in the pub..
i am really disappointed with you!
a nice girl like you, why wanna become so "lala", and don't self love??
i ask you why wanna work in a pub, you say because 1 day got RM120??
now you very lack of money mehx??
you so love money direct go marry a sugar daddy la..
100% you got money use everyday..
you don't feel sad if people "chau you siu" de mehx?
you enjoy letting people to touch you?
or you enjoy having sex??
there is no other answer in my brain, or i should say there is no other explanation to myself..
i could only think this when you say doing sex is an exercise..
yes! it yes if that man is you husband.. and
no! if that is only your so call "boyfriend" >.<"
i really want to know since when you become like that..
DISAPPOINTED!!

GIVE UP..

never thought i will say this the second time..
i feel like giving up..
i'm going to fall any second, so tired, so stressful//!
but who will ever understand my feeling..
who willing to help me, pull me out of this??!
no one i guess..
you will only see the happy appearance of me, but inside of me it's just a bullshit..
a person who is dying soon..

actually, i really not happy with this semester..
so stressful and scary..
sometimes you really had to go a bit further you only can realize whether youlike the subject a not..
but can i just say i want to stop it??
god please give me wisdom for everything, i don't want to live in this kinda life anymore..
really tired

i'm not what you think i am >.<"

well yesterday met a new friend, who is younger than me by 2 years..
as usual chat chat chat,talk talk talk..
haha..
too bad, he ask me something bout him >.<"


_____ aiz =O
totally no idea why he ask me about him..
don't know how to tell him, just say 2 words "break already"..
hmm..
he ask me when you broke with him??!
why break de??
it seems like you looks happy instead of sad..
bla bla bla bla blaaa..
OMG//!
how do you expect me to answer all this question??
i myself like... and you like...
well, break with he was totally a sad thing, but there are so many problem between us..
you tot i really wanna break??
puff..
well well never mind..
actually really miss him de nohx..
wondering what is he doing now??!!!.. =)
wondering will he be more happy without me?..
wondering how is it gonna be without me??..
cool?? happy?? sad?? missing??_________ i no idea at all, don't even dare to think about it..

okay okay well today is my holiday, no class totally free!!
haha..
went for brunch, movie, shopping and dinner with my friend..
can you actually imagine that i miss him so much during the whole journey?? >.<"
aiyer..
back to the topic//!
brunch was "SUCKZ" =X


the spaghetti..
OMG


in the menu, it looks so tasty =)
but when it comes, it looks like a plate of shit..
really almost eat till vomit..
luckily,
the original milk tea still not bad..
"min min keong keong" can finish all up la^^"
kinda sweet >.<"
almost get diabetes//!


i didn't mean it's tasty, and i didn't mean it taste bad..

after eating, shopping!!
haha..
went to esprit edc to look for my baby..
at last, i saw it..
so fucking expensive..
RM199.90..
haiz..
better ask daddy bring me buy tomorrow, or else i gonna lose it again
( .T___T. )"

1.40pm sharp went to watch alvin the chipmunks>.<"
too bad..
it starts already..
____arghx
don't know what happen in the beginning..
after movie they say Pavillion very boring, got nothing to shop and wanna move their ass to T.S..
well well, boss say wanna buy bag worhx..
so went to T.S 5th floor..
wow, he crazy de..
buy 2 bags at the same time, between 1 of the bag is really nice on him and the other was quite disappointed>.<"
mike saw a bag that cost her RM159..
her eye, really good..
after bargain, she got a very good price too (for her la) it cost RM110, and she bought it..
haha so cool..

okay finish buying bag,
walk walk walk walk walk..
saw yong hui,
shopping with his friend in Ed and Ed Enterprise..
god damn it..
I SAW A BAG//!!!!!
tot i could control myself, but too bad at last i also bought that bladdy bag
( .T____T. )"
BAD DIDY, BAD BAD DIDY..
haha..

finish shopping!!
went to fetch rayson who is living in "tai zi yun"
haha..
that 3 little monkey saw "chao dao fu" again..
stop at the road side and eat again..
POOF____ =O
it really smells bad T.T"
i really can't take the smell, it smells like a poo poo to me..
haha..
but they say is tasty ^^"
took some picture with calvin in the car..






this guy really "syok sendiri" only >.<"
haha..

finish eating, went to pick up rayson and then go for dinner at Ulu Langat..
that's my whole day trip for today..
"ta dah"______ =)
the end..

痛了...就會放手了

一個苦者找到一個和尚傾訴他的心事。
他說：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。”
和尚說：“沒有什麼東西是放不下的。”
他說：“這些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
和尚讓他拿著一個茶杯，然後就往裡面倒熱水，一直倒到水溢出來。
苦者被燙到馬上鬆開了手。
和尚說：“這個世界上沒有什麼事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就會放下。”

你可能覺得難過
因為無論你對他怎麼好他都不領情
他不是看不到
他只是裝作看不到
或者他根本不想看到
你覺得自己很喜歡他
甚至覺得再沒有一個人可以像你那麼喜歡他
你用盡全力對他好
把他看的比自己還重要
有什麼事情第一個就想到他
聯繫不到他的時候你擔心他擔心的快瘋了

然而你有沒有想過
這並不在你的責任範圍
而且很有可能他是在躲著你
他受不了你對他那麼好
不要一直發短信給他
不要一直找他
你也許只是想找他說說話
你覺得那很正常不算苛求
但是也許他並不這麼想

記住你的想法不代表他的想法
你是真的不求回報的在喜歡他嗎
你捫心自問一下
你確定不用他回報什麼嗎
那為什麼你會難過
若是真的一無所求
你又怎麼會覺得難過呢
所以別覺得你那麼愛他是偉大的
也許她根本不在乎你怎麼為他付出
有時候你給他的愛或許是種負擔
這種負擔只會讓他更加想遠離你
因為他不想虧欠你
別事事為他擔心為他張羅
你覺得他沒有你不行
你覺得別人做不到你那麼完善
但是你要清楚
你不是他要的那個人
你做的再完善也敵不過人家不做
自然會有人為他擔心為他著急
不用你來費心

那個位置本來就不是你的
你何必硬要擠上去呢
也許曾經你們是相愛過的
但是請記住那是曾經
過去的就是過去了
如果大家真的適合在一起
那麼當初就不會分開
無論是誰提的分手都一樣
這段感情曾經就是存在破裂點的
不管是誰錯結果都是一個你們分開了

分開以後
如果一方試圖想挽回而另一方沒有同意的話
那麼這段感情就是過去了
他是理智的因為他已經明白了兩個人不適合
而你還一遍一遍的告訴自己
你們當初如何如何相愛
不可能那麼容易就分手的
這樣只會讓你更加難以放棄
卻不會讓對方再次回頭選擇你
除非大家都有意要和好

否則你一個巴掌是不可能拍響的
所以儘早打消這個念頭吧
至於他是不是有意我想你自己心裡比誰都明白
不要覺得自己有多可憐或者把自己弄的很可憐
這樣做一點意思也沒有
他不會因為你可憐而喜歡你
你說道理你都懂只是你做不好
不是你做不好是你不想做
你不是怕忘記他你是怕他忘了你吧
別說什麼他離不開你的

其實分明就是你離不開他
他若是離不開你
他就不會不要你
整天死死巴著人家不放的人是你
不懂事的人是你
難道你沒看出來嗎
喜歡他不是你的錯
想關心他不是你的錯
控制不住自己不是你的錯
但是那是你的方式

傻孩子．
忘了吧．所有你留戀的．你回憶的．你擁有過的．
那些．都已是記憶．
缺失並不可怕．
可怕的．是無法面對．

傻孩子．
勇敢看著鏡子中的自己吧．
這個悲傷軟弱滿面憔悴的自己．
這也是你．成長中的你．
這個你．正在逐漸死去．
新的你．即將重生．
找尋你的路．你的未來．
你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成長的祭奠．
做最好的自己．即使．一個人．

傻孩子．
你無法輕易忘記放棄．是因為你付出過．
付出了．她就會像柱子一樣紮根在心．
不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘記．那只會讓你更痛苦．
繞開這個柱子．尋找未來的幸福生活吧．
那裡．有你的理想．

傻孩子．
開始新的習慣吧．
習慣．早上不再有人工鬧鈴．
習慣．每天一個人生活．
習慣．一個人過生日．一個人行走．
你逃不掉．逃不掉的．
那麼．就勇敢面對．現實．
現實是．她已離開．一切．畫上了句點．

傻孩子．
好．好．盡情發洩吧．
剝開自己的心．用文字．用聲音．用所有能發洩的方式．
泄完了．就要振作．
看吧．你失去的．其實微不足道．
還有那麼多人關心著你．以不同的方式．
所以．你並不孤獨．
正是這樣的失去．讓你看清現在所擁有的幸福．

傻孩子．
別哭．別再哭．
不值得．真的．不值得了．
把過去塵封吧．別委屈．別不甘心．別不接受．
開始新的旅程吧．去遇見新的風景．新的際遇．
做你該做的事吧．有很多事．等待著你完成呢．

傻孩子．
所有的人都對你有信心．
所以．你也要充滿信心．
你是堅強的．積極的．樂觀的．灑脫的．
以前是．以後也會是．
總有一天．那個活力無窮傻氣無盡的女金剛會復活．

傻孩子．
生活褪去了曾有的顏色．暫時寧靜．
別沉淪在這片寧靜裡．那會毀掉你．
你要明白．雖然殘忍．但這個決定．足夠正確．
現在的生活．不是你想要的．
為了你的理想．你必須學會適時放棄．
給對方最好的關懷．就是．變的更好．更強大．更幸福．

現在我對你很好、很好、很好,
你不需要、你無所謂、你不在乎，你不珍惜
當某天，你被傷害，想起我。
那時的我再也做不到像現在這樣一如既往、不顧一切的
對你好了
因為那時的我，已經將你放低
原來，放低一個人，最後是被對方逼出來的
其實這個世界，真的沒有非要誰不可，
走自己的路，別回頭。

OVER again...

well as what i mention that day..
first moody, than sad and now OVER already..
haha..
very fast right >_____<"
i also can't imagine why so fast..
you are right i'm damn a childish bitch [[GROW UP PLEASE]]..
actually i really don't know why, what's the problem of watching cartoons or some kids show??
they are kinda nice what ( .O___o. )"
why ask me don't watch??!
we are just 3 years different, why we like nothing to chat instead of just arguing??!
from the starting, you never trust me..
TRUST is so important, but you never believe me..
do you know how hurt is that??
just because of you, i try to blend in into your world.
i know i'm not 100% good, but at least i take an effort to try..
aren't you happy about it??
at least i'm different from who you know last time @.@"
a little is better than nothing..
but
you don't know, you don't know, YOU DON'T KNOW!!
so many things, you just blame me..
FREE TO CHAT..
haha this word doesn't mean that i want to talk on call..
i just wanna sms with you, but all you think is that i want you to call me..
you know me for so long, if i want you to call you dunno de mehx??..
i'll direct ask you to call me, what is the use of sending so many message to you??
by the way, what is the problem of calling your dear??
not asking you to call whole day at least 5 minute, i'm satisfied!!
but you never know..
you like to win..
fine, i'll just let you win..
i'm out of this game..
enough of being Miss.Nice//!
what is the use of being so nice??..
all i get in return is just insulting..
no more being Miss.Nice
the word nice is going to delete from my brain..
you said you give me 1 more chance to say it??
haha..
i think it is not necessary, because the same thing i'll answer you..
"WE ARE OVER"
don't tell me how hard you work..
don't tell me this hard work is for who..
don't tell me about our future..
don't tell me you want to give me a better life..
don't tell me you want to give us a better life..
actually all the above is just for yourself..
NOT ME..
all i want is just a simple LOVE..
i rather eat shit with you than waiting for you the whole night long..
anyway,
everything is just a piece of shit..
GONE..
everything gone..
well now i know, my two years ago decision is correct..

new semester o(╥﹏╥)o

okay okay..
today was my brand new day in college..
as usual wake up 9am in the morning, brush my teeth, wash my body, mm mm, shh shh and bla bla bla..
around 10.20am move my ass and go to college.
tot a new day could bring some luck to me, but no>.<"
i don't know why, whenever i go on a LRT there must be something weird happen..
the girl sitting on my right side,
poof..
dirty like shit>.<"
guess what she did?!
she drank a bottle of milk, and she put it back in her bag @.@"
what the hell??
don't tell me the milk won't spillover the bag..
malay really malay..
no eye see.

i don't care..

i don't care how you treat me..
i don't care how you think about me..
i don't care how you talk to me..
i don't care how long will you be with me..
i don't care how much you love me..
i don't care how many message you send me a day..
i don't care how rich you are..
i don't care how busy you are..
i don't care how you play me..
i don't care how many girls you have..
i don't care what you did to me..
i don't care what time you are home..
i don't care what are you doing..
i don't care what will happen to me..
I JUST DON'T CARE..
I'M TIRED..
WHEN YOU NEED ME YOU COME TO ME, WHEN YOU DON'T NEED ME YOU JUST THROW ME AWAY..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!
NO..
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S MINE..
MY ATTITUDE COST ME THIS KINDA STUFF, RIGHT??!
I'M REALLY REALLY TIRED.
I'M JUST A VERY VERY VERY NORMAL OLD FRIEND OF YOURS MORE THAN A GIRLFRIEND..
YOU SAID YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDS ME, NO..
ACTUALLY IS I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
I'M SO USELESS, I JUST A NOBODY..

i really don't know why you come back to me..
26 days more to go..
Didy you can do it, GAMBATEH!!

happy new year

hei hei everyone who is reading my blog..
happy new year^^"
went to celebrate at my cousin's house..
aiz, kinda boring but it's fun, at least can celebrate with the closeones(family)..
what to do ah dear at thailand now..
celebrating new year in the pub with his friends..
so nice, but i never like clubbing or pub..
haha..
weird person>.<"
but who cares, this is me..

it's 3.33am now..
just finish watching my "海派甜心", nice nice..
so sweet..
wonder can i be so sweet or not ( .O___o. )"

sleepy!!
wanna sleep already..
haha..