isit you or me??

we can never communicate like how other daddy and daughter did.
you and me, always end up with quarrel, sad, crying or hatred. is this what we really want??
i don't understand you dad.
i hate myself that i did the same thing as you!
get mad or angry at you so fast everytime, but what to do? i have the same attitude as you dad.
i want to change, i don't wanna be like you, cause i know how hurt it is to do so.
but dad can you listen to me for once??
doesn't mean that you're dad and you are right for everything.
NO.
dad, world change, you are not longer in your century anymore.
i know it is hard for you to raise yang and me, but i'm in college now. the expenses of course will be higher than primary and secondary de larhx.
you asked me why d i use $$ for this, why do i use $$ for that, but all of the $$ is for my assignment. what do you expect?
when i want to work as a part time, you asked me not to and concentrate on my studies, but did you know that i really have not enough money for my 1 month usage?
how much can you give me every month?
do you know i feel shame to ask more money from you??
do you know how i feel??

now i'm just asking for a college usage and you scolded me? am i really a burden to you??
i really wish that i can shout in front of you and said that"FROM NOW ON YOU DON'T HAVE TO RAISE ME UP ANYMORE, I DON'T WANT TO STUDY ANYMORE!!I WANT TO WORK ON MY OWN, WITHOUT USING ANY OF YOUR MONEY"
i'm really tired of you, but i'm not disappointed at you.
because i know you love me, and i love you too.
but just both of us express in a wrong way. i'm sorry.

i'm sorry for being so ungrown up -.-"

i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid. i'm a kid.

LoLx, i am a kid.
i'm so ungrown up >.<"
i wish i could be like 1 of my friend, mature + lovely.
no ones hate me, but this is impossible..
haha, cause i know myself well.
so CHILDISH and RUDE.
i'm sorry for all the inconvenience T________T"
i'm sorry for being so irritating >______<"
i'm sorry for being so annoying -______-"
i'm sorry for being me, but this is who i am n_______n"
too bad, i "wish" to be like someone BUT i am happy with who and what i am.
no complain.

well, yesterday someone MSN and said "i feel like you don't wanna be my friend anymore" @.@"
LoLx.
tough question, how to answer??! >.<"
haha, i said "no"
hope that the answer is not bad after all, hahaha.

anyways, i never wish for this to happened also, but how you treat me you never know.
how you hurt me, the wound the scar will never disappear. it will always remain there.
hahaha.
wait ba, i will forget it de, but wait until i'm old ba.
cause old people usually have a bad memory, so i think i could actually cure when i was an old lady^^"

i'm sorry Mr.Fly

in this post, i am going to write about Mr.Fly..
i don't know whether you'll come and read this or but anyway i still gonna write it down as a memory or whatever.
erm, let's see how should i start??

okay, i know Mr.Fly more than half a year already.
his real name is ah moon, but than once i saw his picture wearing a big sunglasses that looks like an eye of a fly.
and that is how he got his name, Mr.Fly.
he's a hilarious guy, he likes to crap and jock around, but than there a very bad thing about him which is he is very emotional.
his mood can change any moment, that is what my friend and i don't like about him.

well, the relationship between me and his is like more than a friend but less than a couple..
both of us are kinda close, until a few friends of mine also thought that he's my boyfriend. (this is not important)
LoLx.
anyway he's my "BFF" [Best Friend Forever]..

seriously, at first was kinda happy being his BFF, but than slowly i feel like i was not that happy being his BFF cause i didn't get any respect from him.
i wonder, isit because of my appearance? i'm not beautiful enough to respect? or i'm like a boy to you so i don't have to get respect?
i remembered i have told you a few times that stop asking me to fuck off or saying fuck you to me.
sometimes, i really wish that i'm just a normal friend to you compare to your so call "BFF"..
at least i still can get respect.

and now i just want to say i'm "SORRY" to Mr.Fly.
i admit i was kinda rude that day, and i was putting all my stress and anger on you.
but you yourself shouldn't have "FFK" me.
you promised to bring me go, and i called and asked for confirmation on friday with you, and you still say okay and yes.
whenever you want people to bring you out, you ask people not to "FFK" you butwhat yourself did??
i wonder why will you said that and now i know, cause you always "FFK" people, so you worried people will do back the same thing to you??.
anyway, it's over..
don't wanna talk about it anymore.

now i feel so stupid, cause that day i angry until send him 1 stupid message telling him not to find me anymore..
What The Hell am i doing??
haha, now when i cool down and think back, that day i was really very stupid!!
LoLx.
i wish i could keep back the words.

T.T"

NEVER try crying before in this kinda time(middle of the night)for my assignment..
i really sitting here, looking at the computer doing nothing.
tears keep dripping.
cause really no idea how to start..

i'm so lost, really lost.
i remember i said in one of the post before, but anyway i thought i could actually hang on.
and now i found the answer. "NO"
i can't..
really really CAN'T.
i'm wondering how m i gonna survive until the final.
and also how am i going to attend University in this kinda "LOST" situation.

rush rush rush..

KEEP RUSHING ASSIGNMENT this few days..
really got not enough of sleep.
1 day sleep 3 - 4 hours only @____@"
haiz, why do i always do my work in last minute??
or i should say why am i so lazy??!
really STRESS, really TIRED, really feel like i'm a LOSER @.@"
if i start everything early, i shouldn't have this kinda problem..
I HATE MYSELF..
i'm really a no.1 BASTARD >.<"

POPO i very miss you.. T.T"

stomach pain..
keep "o li du", haiz..
don't know what i ate, it's been a few days already.
and it only happens at nigth.
OMG, what the hell..
haiz..
I MISS MY POPO..
whenever i got stomachache she apply medicine on me and help me massage on the stomach and the back..
i miss those feeling, it's so WARM..
when will POPO come back to K.L?? or when can i go see her again??..
i want POPO.. i want POPO T.T"

"FUCK OFF"???!

what i did??
am i born for you to scold, or do i DESERVE the word "FUCK OFF"??
i really have no idea.
if you said it once in a while, FINE no choice i have to ACCEPT it..
but don't you think you said it too OFTEN? and what i did for the word "FUCK OFF"??
you said my blog are full of vulgar words, okay fine..
WHO makes me write all those words?? WHAT cause me write it??..
please la..
my mom norn me not for you guys to say "FUCK OFF"
and i DON'T DESERVE THE WORD TOO..

to those "FUCKERS" or "BITCHES"..

"i'm very sure.. i've been KICK out.. DON'T COME AND PRETEND THAT YOU CARE ME.. FUCK OFF, AND STOP ACTING BITCH.."

these words were post on Facebook yesterday at 5.08 pm..
LoLx..
after it was post, those people starts to come and comment me, private message me, msn me, send me mail..
okay, which means if i didn't post these words, the people will never come and care me!! ("LIKE I CARE")
well who those people who care me, i would say thanks for caring, tose words are tpo those BITCHES.
BUT, who those "FUCKERS" or "BITCHES" who wanna know am i writing them, i could say why do you care??
is that so important to you??

PLEASE STOP ASKING ME, I WON'T TELL YOU WHO ARE THEY.
AND TO THOSE WHO THINK THAT I'M WRITING ABOUT YOU THAN OKAY..




just FUCK OFF MY LIFE BITCHES..